resurrectedaf19
TF Buzz
Hey,
So, I'm really sorry for this super long post, but big thanks for actually reading it all.
About three years back, I went ahead and opened up this Kotak 811 account. But, whoopsie daisy, I didn't finish up all that KYC stuff, and guess what? Within a year, bam, they closed down my account. Back then, you couldn't do a thing about a closed 811 account. Sucks, right? But now, Kotak's rolled out this new deal where you can bring back your account to life even if it croaked due to KYC issues. So I thought, why not, let's give it a shot and get my account back in action.
Everything was cool as I went through the steps, smooth sailing, until I hit the last hurdle. I had to agree to some terms and conditions. No biggie, I hit 'Next'. But then, the system decides to tease me for a whole minute and finally smacks me with an error message: "Oops, can't do your thing online. Head to a Kotak branch, please." Well, I thought maybe it's just a glitch, so I hit retry, but nope, same stupid error. So, I was like, fine, let's dial up Kotak's customer support, got a reference number, and they're like, "Hold tight, we'll fix it." Yeah right, they didn't, and my wait kept stretching longer.
At this point, I was like, "Alright, I'll deal with this in person." Off I go to a nearby Kotak branch, and I chat up this lady at the info desk. She looks up my CRN or whatever, and she's all, "Nope, no account here." She tells me to chat up a guy at the 811 desk on the upper floor. Great. But guess what? Mr. 811 was on a break or something, and the others there were pretty useless. They acted like I'm invisible. Somehow, after some hustling, I get hold of his number, so I call, it goes through, and the guy on the other end asks me to pass the phone to Mr. ABC there. So I'm like, who's Mr. ABC? But no one cares to tell me. Out of nowhere, some dude there asks if it's about KYC. I'm like, yeah, and boom, he tells me to hang up and then asks if I can maintain 10,000 bucks in there. He promises to fix the KYC thing. But I'm only interested in getting my 811 account back, nothing else.
This dude then sends me to yet another person, and now they're all curious about my life – my job, my favorite pizza, my college days, you name it. After some poking around on their system with my CRN, he's like, "Dude, you need a fresh account." I'm like, "Nah, can't do that, I can't keep any balance, I just want that zero balance account, I already have other bank accounts to deal with." He's like, "Hey, how about you toss in 2 lakh INR and then keep zero balance?" I'm like, yeah, sounds kinda cool. But whoa, hold up! The dude's selecting the "Ace" variant, and man, that just raised my suspicion. So I'm like, "Wait a sec, show me where that whole 'no need to keep an average balance' deal is mentioned. After wasting a good 5 minutes browsing, he finally pulls up the "Ace" variant page and zooms through it. He points at something like "Ace" in the "League" whatever. I'm like, I want to see the zero balance part. I finally spot the details about the Minimum Average Balance – turns out, it's gotta be 50,000 INR. Nope, not gonna deal with that headache.
Then he pitches this "Everyday Variant" savings account at me. He says I gotta make 30 transactions to keep it zero balance. But that's not flying with me either. I make up some story about not having cheque book and tell them I'll be back in 30 minutes. So, I do some snooping around, and it dawns on me that keeping track of those 30 transactions on top of my regular stuff would be a total mess. And then I find out the "Privy" thing needs a 50K balance at all times. So, the whole deal just doesn't make sense.
Even after I tell this guy I'm not interested, he keeps calling me for two days straight about opening the account. I'm just ignoring those calls. And guess what happened today? I click on that 811 account link, and it's like, "Hey, you're already a customer." I check their app, useless as ever. So, I hit up another branch, they check my CRN, and yup, they confirm I got this "Everyday Savings" account. They send me back to the branch where this all started. But you know what? I never actually said "yes" to any of this, and I'm scratching my head wondering how they pulled it off.
Finally get to the guy who kickstarted this whole thing, and he's telling me my application got trashed 'cause I didn't give them a cheque. But I smell something fishy, you know what I mean? Feels like he's trying to pull a fast one, and that account might just be alive and kicking. Now I'm doubting everything. This "Everyday Savings" thing wants me to keep 20,000 INR just hanging around, and I'm stressed about surprise charges. I'm stuck here, clueless about what to do. If any of you out there have been through this craziness or have some advice, I'd seriously love to hear it. Thanks a bunch in advance!
So, I'm really sorry for this super long post, but big thanks for actually reading it all.
About three years back, I went ahead and opened up this Kotak 811 account. But, whoopsie daisy, I didn't finish up all that KYC stuff, and guess what? Within a year, bam, they closed down my account. Back then, you couldn't do a thing about a closed 811 account. Sucks, right? But now, Kotak's rolled out this new deal where you can bring back your account to life even if it croaked due to KYC issues. So I thought, why not, let's give it a shot and get my account back in action.
Everything was cool as I went through the steps, smooth sailing, until I hit the last hurdle. I had to agree to some terms and conditions. No biggie, I hit 'Next'. But then, the system decides to tease me for a whole minute and finally smacks me with an error message: "Oops, can't do your thing online. Head to a Kotak branch, please." Well, I thought maybe it's just a glitch, so I hit retry, but nope, same stupid error. So, I was like, fine, let's dial up Kotak's customer support, got a reference number, and they're like, "Hold tight, we'll fix it." Yeah right, they didn't, and my wait kept stretching longer.
At this point, I was like, "Alright, I'll deal with this in person." Off I go to a nearby Kotak branch, and I chat up this lady at the info desk. She looks up my CRN or whatever, and she's all, "Nope, no account here." She tells me to chat up a guy at the 811 desk on the upper floor. Great. But guess what? Mr. 811 was on a break or something, and the others there were pretty useless. They acted like I'm invisible. Somehow, after some hustling, I get hold of his number, so I call, it goes through, and the guy on the other end asks me to pass the phone to Mr. ABC there. So I'm like, who's Mr. ABC? But no one cares to tell me. Out of nowhere, some dude there asks if it's about KYC. I'm like, yeah, and boom, he tells me to hang up and then asks if I can maintain 10,000 bucks in there. He promises to fix the KYC thing. But I'm only interested in getting my 811 account back, nothing else.
This dude then sends me to yet another person, and now they're all curious about my life – my job, my favorite pizza, my college days, you name it. After some poking around on their system with my CRN, he's like, "Dude, you need a fresh account." I'm like, "Nah, can't do that, I can't keep any balance, I just want that zero balance account, I already have other bank accounts to deal with." He's like, "Hey, how about you toss in 2 lakh INR and then keep zero balance?" I'm like, yeah, sounds kinda cool. But whoa, hold up! The dude's selecting the "Ace" variant, and man, that just raised my suspicion. So I'm like, "Wait a sec, show me where that whole 'no need to keep an average balance' deal is mentioned. After wasting a good 5 minutes browsing, he finally pulls up the "Ace" variant page and zooms through it. He points at something like "Ace" in the "League" whatever. I'm like, I want to see the zero balance part. I finally spot the details about the Minimum Average Balance – turns out, it's gotta be 50,000 INR. Nope, not gonna deal with that headache.
Then he pitches this "Everyday Variant" savings account at me. He says I gotta make 30 transactions to keep it zero balance. But that's not flying with me either. I make up some story about not having cheque book and tell them I'll be back in 30 minutes. So, I do some snooping around, and it dawns on me that keeping track of those 30 transactions on top of my regular stuff would be a total mess. And then I find out the "Privy" thing needs a 50K balance at all times. So, the whole deal just doesn't make sense.
Even after I tell this guy I'm not interested, he keeps calling me for two days straight about opening the account. I'm just ignoring those calls. And guess what happened today? I click on that 811 account link, and it's like, "Hey, you're already a customer." I check their app, useless as ever. So, I hit up another branch, they check my CRN, and yup, they confirm I got this "Everyday Savings" account. They send me back to the branch where this all started. But you know what? I never actually said "yes" to any of this, and I'm scratching my head wondering how they pulled it off.
Finally get to the guy who kickstarted this whole thing, and he's telling me my application got trashed 'cause I didn't give them a cheque. But I smell something fishy, you know what I mean? Feels like he's trying to pull a fast one, and that account might just be alive and kicking. Now I'm doubting everything. This "Everyday Savings" thing wants me to keep 20,000 INR just hanging around, and I'm stressed about surprise charges. I'm stuck here, clueless about what to do. If any of you out there have been through this craziness or have some advice, I'd seriously love to hear it. Thanks a bunch in advance!
Last edited:
