Urgent Suggestion Required - Helping Friend

[tushu5121]

My friend was working in HDFC bank from 2.5 years as RM.
Now came to me for asking Help to manage his debt and asking me Suggession and possible option he can do.

He has around 10lacs of Debt including 2 personal loans And He borrowed Money from his cbatchmates and friends.
He don't use credit cards much so don't have any bills of credit cards.
When i asked him bhai itna karza kaise chdha

He said he used to Bet on Dream11 and lost some in Crypto. And to Cover that loss he took personal loans and borrowed money.

I personally did not believed what he did.
As his Salery is well enough he can Run his livlihood and run his house properly.
Neither he has wife nor Any GFs.

He just wanted more money at Quick time.

He asked for help and Being his Friend from childhood from (25+ years ) i helped him with 4 lacs and Settled his borrowing from his batchmates and friends.

I also mailed for moraetorium for 2 personal loans but they Denied.

Currently my friend is in Deep shock and Facing Severe brain issues. And doing his treatment.


Can anyone Suggest any way or any relief ideas for him.


I personaly trust on him and his Financial Behaviour. But i didn't getting much Idea about this situations

is There any bank policies or RBI guidelines or anything else so he get some temp. RELIEF.

 

[VasukiVasuki is verified member.]

My friend was working in HDFC bank from 2.5 years as RM.
Now came to me for asking Help to manage his debt and asking me Suggession and possible option he can do.

He has around 10lacs of Debt including 2 personal loans And He borrowed Money from his cbatchmates and friends.
He don't use credit cards much so don't have any bills of credit cards.
When i asked him bhai itna karza kaise chdha

He said he used to Bet on Dream11 and lost some in Crypto. And to Cover that loss he took personal loans and borrowed money.

I personally did not believed what he did.
As his Salery is well enough he can Run his livlihood and run his house properly.
Neither he has wife nor Any GFs.

He just wanted more money at Quick time.

He asked for help and Being his Friend from childhood from (25+ years ) i helped him with 4 lacs and Settled his borrowing from his batchmates and friends.

I also mailed for moraetorium for 2 personal loans but they Denied.

Currently my friend is in Deep shock and Facing Severe brain issues. And doing his treatment.


Can anyone Suggest any way or any relief ideas for him.


I personaly trust on him and his Financial Behaviour. But i didn't getting much Idea about this situations

is There any bank policies or RBI guidelines or anything else so he get some temp. RELIEF.

Humanity aside tell me how much money you can help him with then forget about money like you never had it

I tried helping 2 poker friend all known from childhood they never say truth lie on your face'
Then reveal things in last
So after helping them in few instances with very small amount
I never looked back never talked

Coming to recent experience one of my close friends is helping manage his friend with 3-4 lakh debt management which he lost via bets
This went on for 5-6 month. I gave him few trick for cc to bank but then
My friend this month did bill payment of on his friend cc
That mf took out 2 lakh from cc and placed bet and lost another 2 lakh

Now my friend learnt hard lesson I was saying him from month
Never ever trust a poker person

Because after helping them like a family person
They F**k you back instead of getting better

 

[desiviru]

Frankly speaking no one can help him wither RBI policies or Bank with debt. He will have to pay. Only thing he can do is request the bank do make a minium EMI which he can pay by pleading with BM and Zonal Manager. It will cost him dearly in long run but that's the only solution. If they somehow okay, he will get a temporary relief.

Coming to you helping him out,

Now it's on you whether you want to help him or not. I won't suggest you to give him any money and give only if you can forget it. Sometimes people drag you also with them. As you said he is not having family and trust me he will show you middl* f**ger because I have seen happening this with me. My amount was little as Rs.6000.

Only an angel can help him now. Right time to unfriend him if you can't take loss on you. His loss is not your fault. Bringing him out of a situation he has put himself is also not your duty.

Have word with him but no money. That will give you Idea how genuine he is now. In most of cases people become innocent for few days and once they arrange money from friends and relatives they again living like it wasn't their fault. You will run for your money.

 

[VasukiVasuki is verified member.]

Frankly speaking no one can help him wither RBI policies or Bank with debt. He will have to pay. Only thing he can do is request the bank do make a minium EMI which he can pay by pleading with BM and Zonal Manager. It will cost him dearly in long run but that's the only solution. If they somehow okay, he will get a temporary relief.

Coming to you helping him out,

Now it's on you whether you want to help him or not. I won't suggest you to give him any money and give only if you can forget it. Sometimes people drag you also with them. As you said he is not having family and trust me he will show you middl* f**ger because I have seen happening this with me. My amount was little as Rs.6000.

Only an angel can help him now. Right time to unfriend him if you can't take loss on you. His loss is not your fault. Bringing him out of a situation he has put himself is also not your duty.

Have word with him but no money. That will give you Idea how genuine he is now. In most of cases people become innocent for few days and once they arrange money from friends and relatives they again living like it wasn't their fault. You will run for your money.

I gave a person approx 3k
He lost monet in bets said need to pay Mess charge
Then I had to call to ask money
6- 8 month went by
Had to call his father
He said " I owe him money not him "
I said to his father
Money wasn't important till now but after this you will pay intrest and your bank account is getting freeze . Filed fraud case
Got 5k return

2k donated when I visited vrindavan

 

[hender]

My friend was working in HDFC bank from 2.5 years as RM.
Now came to me for asking Help to manage his debt and asking me Suggession and possible option he can do.

He has around 10lacs of Debt including 2 personal loans And He borrowed Money from his cbatchmates and friends.
He don't use credit cards much so don't have any bills of credit cards.
When i asked him bhai itna karza kaise chdha

He said he used to Bet on Dream11 and lost some in Crypto. And to Cover that loss he took personal loans and borrowed money.

I personally did not believed what he did.
As his Salery is well enough he can Run his livlihood and run his house properly.
Neither he has wife nor Any GFs.

He just wanted more money at Quick time.

He asked for help and Being his Friend from childhood from (25+ years ) i helped him with 4 lacs and Settled his borrowing from his batchmates and friends.

I also mailed for moraetorium for 2 personal loans but they Denied.

Currently my friend is in Deep shock and Facing Severe brain issues. And doing his treatment.


Can anyone Suggest any way or any relief ideas for him.


I personaly trust on him and his Financial Behaviour. But i didn't getting much Idea about this situations

is There any bank policies or RBI guidelines or anything else so he get some temp. RELIEF.

His Core Will (only) let him out of the addiction, until than it's a tricky situation..

Mind over addiction....'or' Addiction over mind....

As said by @Vasuki @desiviru ,
Most of the time , The person who offered help, regrets later....

 

[BVCBVC is verified member.]

My friend was working in HDFC bank from 2.5 years as RM.
Now came to me for asking Help to manage his debt and asking me Suggession and possible option he can do.

He has around 10lacs of Debt including 2 personal loans And He borrowed Money from his cbatchmates and friends.
He don't use credit cards much so don't have any bills of credit cards.
When i asked him bhai itna karza kaise chdha

He said he used to Bet on Dream11 and lost some in Crypto. And to Cover that loss he took personal loans and borrowed money.

I personally did not believed what he did.
As his Salery is well enough he can Run his livlihood and run his house properly.
Neither he has wife nor Any GFs.

He just wanted more money at Quick time.

He asked for help and Being his Friend from childhood from (25+ years ) i helped him with 4 lacs and Settled his borrowing from his batchmates and friends.

I also mailed for moraetorium for 2 personal loans but they Denied.

Currently my friend is in Deep shock and Facing Severe brain issues. And doing his treatment.


Can anyone Suggest any way or any relief ideas for him.


I personaly trust on him and his Financial Behaviour. But i didn't getting much Idea about this situations

is There any bank policies or RBI guidelines or anything else so he get some temp. RELIEF.

Sorry to hear the story. No help can be done on betting cases. Betting has become fashion now a days.

 

[neo.puneet]

I also helped one so called friend for 2 years giving money every now and then, I even took cc loan for him and keep rotating money for him for around 2 years, this was back in 2019-2021, I needed money urgently during second covid wave and he gave a middle finger, i haven't spoken to him since and I've stopped helping folks around for bigger amounts

 

[BVCBVC is verified member.]

I also helped one so called friend for 2 years giving money every now and then, I even took cc loan for him and keep rotating money for him for around 2 years, this was back in 2019-2021, I needed money urgently during second covid wave and he gave a middle finger, i haven't spoken to him since and I've stopped helping folks around for bigger amounts

Harsh reality of today's relationship (Any).

 

[theflash]

My friend was working in HDFC bank from 2.5 years as RM.
Now came to me for asking Help to manage his debt and asking me Suggession and possible option he can do.

He has around 10lacs of Debt including 2 personal loans And He borrowed Money from his cbatchmates and friends.
He don't use credit cards much so don't have any bills of credit cards.
When i asked him bhai itna karza kaise chdha

He said he used to Bet on Dream11 and lost some in Crypto. And to Cover that loss he took personal loans and borrowed money.

I personally did not believed what he did.
As his Salery is well enough he can Run his livlihood and run his house properly.
Neither he has wife nor Any GFs.

He just wanted more money at Quick time.

He asked for help and Being his Friend from childhood from (25+ years ) i helped him with 4 lacs and Settled his borrowing from his batchmates and friends.

I also mailed for moraetorium for 2 personal loans but they Denied.

Currently my friend is in Deep shock and Facing Severe brain issues. And doing his treatment.


Can anyone Suggest any way or any relief ideas for him.


I personaly trust on him and his Financial Behaviour. But i didn't getting much Idea about this situations

is There any bank policies or RBI guidelines or anything else so he get some temp. RELIEF.

Whenever money enters the equation, whether with friends or family, it can create complications.

 

[Ak Singh]

Btao bhai rm hoker poker or gambling khel raha hain...
Jo insan dusro ko investment advise deta hain, usko khud yeh nhi pta investment kaha krni hai.
Leave investment, he didn't know about savings.
I doubt that how he got job as rm in hdfc?

Now he can only do file bankruptcy, imo this is the only option.

 

[kuchbhikuchbhi is verified member.]

another person who used to live in my society for years
we had known him for years


he and his wife both work and stillll he doesnt have money idk where he throws them
one day he comes and ask for 100 rs, we gave him he never returned them back
we knew ye aisa hi insaan hai kabhi paisa dena hi bekar hai ise
but kbhi help karna hi padta hai

then another day he came and said 'I was getting some work done and labour is asking for money' something like that and took 400 more
said he'll return them after few days
5-7 days passed but no talk whatsoever
i whatsapped him, called him no pickup
then one day he calls I was outside so couldn't come i will come
then also he didn't come

we again called whatsapped sent QR upi
then one day he came said I don't have money right now please take this 500 cheque but don't put in bank (guess the bank AXES lol)
so we waited few more days an called again, he didn't pick up
then we directly whatsapped him that we have put the cheque in bank (we actually didn't)
the he replied stop stop I will come tomorrow and give money

the next day or day after that he came and still gave us only 400
and haven't come back since then
we knew we shouldn't maintain any relationship with such guyss

we were like atleast 400 hi milgye bahut badi baat hai and left it there.

 

[hender]

400 hi milgye bahut badi baat hai and left it there.

"Quote of the day"

 

[tushu5121]

Humanity aside tell me how much money you can help him with then forget about money like you never had it

I tried helping 2 poker friend all known from childhood they never say truth lie on your face'
Then reveal things in last
So after helping them in few instances with very small amount
I never looked back never talked

Coming to recent experience one of my close friends is helping manage his friend with 3-4 lakh debt management which he lost via bets
This went on for 5-6 month. I gave him few trick for cc to bank but then
My friend this month did bill payment of on his friend cc
That mf took out 2 lakh from cc and placed bet and lost another 2 lakh

Now my friend learnt hard lesson I was saying him from month
Never ever trust a poker person

Because after helping them like a family person
They F**k you back instead of getting better

I understand your point.
But my friend which i helped.
He never asked for this kind of help earlier.
Max he asked for either drink or dinner or some party that too on special occation when he came from pune or i went to pune.

I know him very well.
And i gave him money. Thinking of nothing.
Didn't think much...

 

[kuchbhikuchbhi is verified member.]

I understand your point.
But my friend which i helped.
He never asked for this kind of help earlier.
Max he asked for either drink or dinner or some party that too on special occation when he came from pune or i went to pune.

I know him very well.
And i gave him money. Thinking of nothing.
Didn't think much...

lagta hai bro aisa hi lagta hai

give only that much which you can forgive and forget

 

[tushu5121]

Frankly speaking no one can help him wither RBI policies or Bank with debt. He will have to pay. Only thing he can do is request the bank do make a minium EMI which he can pay by pleading with BM and Zonal Manager. It will cost him dearly in long run but that's the only solution. If they somehow okay, he will get a temporary relief.

Coming to you helping him out,

Now it's on you whether you want to help him or not. I won't suggest you to give him any money and give only if you can forget it. Sometimes people drag you also with them. As you said he is not having family and trust me he will show you middl* f**ger because I have seen happening this with me. My amount was little as Rs.6000.

Only an angel can help him now. Right time to unfriend him if you can't take loss on you. His loss is not your fault. Bringing him out of a situation he has put himself is also not your duty.

Have word with him but no money. That will give you Idea how genuine he is now. In most of cases people become innocent for few days and once they arrange money from friends and relatives they again living like it wasn't their fault. You will run for your money.

I agree with your point.. i gave him money 1st and last. Only thinking this. As he asked for help..
Yes its not my fault and not my duty..
But i felt bad... and helped him but this is last from my end as just he is my friend

 

[tushu5121]

lagta hai bro aisa hi lagta hai

give only that much which you can forgive and forget

Yes utna hi diya h.. jitna bhul skta hu ar last time h

 

[thanix]

The only thing you can do is non monetary thing. Getting him psychological help to overcome his addiction.

I don't want to write but ppl under severe stress can act irrational. Please watch for those signs and act now if you see them.

 

[tushu5121]

Bh

Btao bhai rm hoker poker or gambling khel raha hain...
Jo insan dusro ko investment advise deta hain, usko khud yeh nhi pta investment kaha krni hai.
Leave investment, he didn't know about savings.
I doubt that how he got job as rm in hdfc?

Now he can only do file bankruptcy, imo this is the only option.

Ai RM ki baat krte ho ap kitne hi govt. Employee h jo Ajkl lalach ke chakkar me khel rhe h.
Meri shop me aate h kafi sare funding krane ke liye.

FInance krao ar peoduct ke bdle paisa mango.
Lekin kafi baar ham reject krdete h..

 

[tushu5121]

The only thing you can do is non monetary thing. Getting him psychological help to overcome his addiction.

I don't want to write but ppl under severe stress can act irrational. Please watch for those signs and act now if you see them.

Yes... the my other friends and his relatives are taking care of him.
ANd i wish this incident will open his eyes he will not involve in betting agaim

 

[tushu5121]

Whenever money enters the equation, whether with friends or family, it can create complications.

100% correct but sometimes we can't Say No