Urgent Suggestion Required - Helping Friend

[Fini7777]

My friend was working in HDFC bank from 2.5 years as RM.
Now came to me for asking Help to manage his debt and asking me Suggession and possible option he can do.
He hasaround 10lacs of Debt including 2 personal loans And He borrowed Money from his cbatchmates and friends.
He don't use credit cards much so don't have any bills of credit cards.
When i asked him bhai itna karza kaise chdha
He said he used to Bet on Dream11 and lost some in Crypto. And to Cover that loss he took personal loans and borrowed money.
I personally did not believed what he did.
As his Salery is well enough he can Run his livlihood and run his house properly.
Neither he has wife nor Any GFs.
He just wanted more money at Quick time.
He asked for help and Being his Friend from childhood from (25+ years ) i helped him with 4 lacs and Settled his borrowing from his batchmates and friends.
I also mailed for moraetorium for 2 personal loans but they Denied.
Currently my friend is in Deep shock and Facing Severe brain issues. And doing his treatment.
Can anyone Suggest any way or any relief ideas for him.
I personaly trust on him and his Financial Behaviour. But i didn't getting much Idea about this situations
is There any bank policies or RBI guidelines or anything else so he get some temp. RELIEF.

Firstly, there's no solution here except asking the BM to do something.
I don't intend to judge your friend's character, but I'd say don't believe such people.

My cousin faced an exactly similar situation two years ago. One of his friends was in a situation just like your friend’s now. He asked my cousin for help to clear his debt of around ₹15L he used to bet on cricket and lost money. My cousin helped him with around ₹6L, and then the real game started.

He also started borrowing money using credit cards. Unfortunately, my cousin had shared his card details, and he spent around ₹50K. That’s when we noticed it, immediately blocked the credit card, and warned my cousin not to help him anymore.

The sad reality is that he didn’t pay the credit card bill for a long time, and my cousin had to rotate money to cover it. Meanwhile, we approached him several times to recover the ₹6L, but we couldn’t.

In the end, we barely recovered around ₹3L in installments. He then moved abroad and is still leading his life the same way—through betting and poker. He still keeps in touch with us and keeps asking for more time to clear the debt. We eventually moved on, but my cousin learned a hard lesson and is now very cautious.

See, if you wish to help such people, either you should be prepared to forget that money or you should have enough wealth that it doesn’t affect you much.

This is how society works: "Whenever money enters, relationships may break."

Never trust a poker or betting addict.

This may not apply to everyone, but it's a harsh reality that many people are like this.

 

[aniketkr.sharma]

My friend was working in HDFC bank from 2.5 years as RM.
Now came to me for asking Help to manage his debt and asking me Suggession and possible option he can do.

He has around 10lacs of Debt including 2 personal loans And He borrowed Money from his cbatchmates and friends.
He don't use credit cards much so don't have any bills of credit cards.
When i asked him bhai itna karza kaise chdha

He said he used to Bet on Dream11 and lost some in Crypto. And to Cover that loss he took personal loans and borrowed money.

I personally did not believed what he did.
As his Salery is well enough he can Run his livlihood and run his house properly.
Neither he has wife nor Any GFs.

He just wanted more money at Quick time.

He asked for help and Being his Friend from childhood from (25+ years ) i helped him with 4 lacs and Settled his borrowing from his batchmates and friends.

I also mailed for moraetorium for 2 personal loans but they Denied.

Currently my friend is in Deep shock and Facing Severe brain issues. And doing his treatment.


Can anyone Suggest any way or any relief ideas for him.


I personaly trust on him and his Financial Behaviour. But i didn't getting much Idea about this situations

is There any bank policies or RBI guidelines or anything else so he get some temp. RELIEF.

Ask him to get a bigger loan and clear out all debts and also that money should be efficient to pay 3 months EMI and his livelihood expenses, after that tell him to do job again and finish the loan EMI from his salary.

This will be best idea for him as of now

 

[tushu5121]

Sorry to hear the story. No help can be done on betting cases. Betting has become fashion now a days.

Betting is just a worst thing nowdays specually when ipl cimes.
When i was in my college back in 2014 i used To such Things. And won many times had to collect money from many people but my mother Somehow found out about This.
And she came from her Duty and called me.
Said how much money you want ? What You want buy?
I said nothing.
She said then why the hell Are you doing bettng...?? If you want anything just tell me or Go to Any job or work.
And you want to continue betting just leave the house immediately..
Then after Some time she again came to and talked with me politely on this matter
And i promised her will not do such things any more didn't take any betting money..
That time it was illegal nowdays its so called game of luck* game of bla bla bla..
And many celebraties promoting such platforms..

And frankly i say thanks to my mother aways she guided me on right direction

And now i own a electronic Shop and Fulfilling my needs with no Headache

 

[Raavan]

Now that this thread has become fraud sharing stories let me add mine as well.
My school friend Ajay, my only friend out of school. Dropped out of his graduation degree to start his own business (atleast this is what he told). On 27th April 2023 called me to ask for help for 4k. I did. Then next few days he asked 18k more which I didn't had so I had to borrow from Paytm Postpaid. After the bill was generated I kept calling him, no answer. One day he blocked me.
Got to know that he left the city and sold his house as well. I got to know after few months that he took similar amounts from other classmates as well.
Nobody knows where he's gone, alive or not.
He was from Haryana so probably gone there. Luckily I had the same amount of money to repay the Paytm Postpaid so I am fine now. If I would have lent him even 1k more, now i would be in debt.

Since then never gave any money to anyone.

If anyone can help me to trouble Ajay by calling him or anything, please DM.

 

[kuchbhikuchbhi is verified member.]

If anyone can help me to trouble Ajay by calling him or anything, please DM.

inme se to nahi koi 😉


just kidding guyss

 

[Raavan]

View attachment 88335

inme se to nahi koi 😉


just kidding guyss

Not possible
TF pe hota toh fraud karne ki jagah knowledge me dimag lagata

I can provide his number if anyone wants to harrass someone.

 

[kuchbhikuchbhi is verified member.]

Not possible
TF pe hota toh fraud karne ki jagah knowledge me dimag lagata

I can provide his number if anyone wants to harrass someone.

stress relieving services chalu ki hai
"is no. pe jitni bhadass nikal chahe nikaliye"

 

[dvader]

My friend was working in HDFC bank from 2.5 years as RM.
Now came to me for asking Help to manage his debt and asking me Suggession and possible option he can do.

He has around 10lacs of Debt including 2 personal loans And He borrowed Money from his cbatchmates and friends.
He don't use credit cards much so don't have any bills of credit cards.
When i asked him bhai itna karza kaise chdha

He said he used to Bet on Dream11 and lost some in Crypto. And to Cover that loss he took personal loans and borrowed money.

I personally did not believed what he did.
As his Salery is well enough he can Run his livlihood and run his house properly.
Neither he has wife nor Any GFs.

He just wanted more money at Quick time.

He asked for help and Being his Friend from childhood from (25+ years ) i helped him with 4 lacs and Settled his borrowing from his batchmates and friends.

I also mailed for moraetorium for 2 personal loans but they Denied.

Currently my friend is in Deep shock and Facing Severe brain issues. And doing his treatment.


Can anyone Suggest any way or any relief ideas for him.


I personaly trust on him and his Financial Behaviour. But i didn't getting much Idea about this situations

is There any bank policies or RBI guidelines or anything else so he get some temp. RELIEF.

Man I am gonna be blunt...A man who is careless with his no own money treats others' money worse.

You are either gonna loose your money, your friend or both. No third option.

People don't change at least not in the way it matters. They either face the full consequence and learn to avoid those consequences in future (if they are healthy) or they get medical help. No other way.

You just did the worst thing you could do to a man in that situation, this was the biggest learning opportunity for him, the mental toll, the shame, the shunning, the insult and the long way to redemption would have stopped him from betting again and you bailed him out.

 

[dvader]

Betting is just a worst thing nowdays specually when ipl cimes.
When i was in my college back in 2014 i used To such Things. And won many times had to collect money from many people but my mother Somehow found out about This.
And she came from her Duty and called me.
Said how much money you want ? What You want buy?
I said nothing.
She said then why the hell Are you doing bettng...?? If you want anything just tell me or Go to Any job or work.
And you want to continue betting just leave the house immediately..
Then after Some time she again came to and talked with me politely on this matter
And i promised her will not do such things any more didn't take any betting money..
That time it was illegal nowdays its so called game of luck* game of bla bla bla..
And many celebraties promoting such platforms..

And frankly i say thanks to my mother aways she guided me on right direction

And now i own a electronic Shop and Fulfilling my needs with no Headache

thats great parenting right there.

The only good thing in betting is being the house. cuz house always wins.

 

[2025]

@tushu5121 (OP)
Tell him that shit happens in life. He has to self motivate himself as much as he can by diverting his attention in something else addictive in nature but not harmful...

His self realisation is necessary. Yours or anyone's advice will not work in such cases.

This time too pass. Human genes have its own set of survival instincts. He will able to find a way.

Don't humiliate him when he is going through mental weakness. Twist and turns in life has its own set of terms and conditions.

On a side note tell him to become a member of TF community. He will have something to start with to engage his mind.

 

[tushu5121]

Man I am gonna be blunt...A man who is careless with his no own money treats others' money worse.

You are either gonna loose your money, your friend or both. No third option.

People don't change at least not in the way it matters. They either face the full consequence and learn to avoid those consequences in future (if they are healthy) or they get medical help. No other way.

You just did the worst thing you could do to a man in that situation, this was the biggest learning opportunity for him, the mental toll, the shame, the shunning, the insult and the long way to redemption would have stopped him from betting again and you bailed him out.

See.. i helped him without any intention.

He is not out of this situation.
He used take loans and then that money he use for betting which is just senseless..

I feel he learned his lesson.
As 1st thing i did i told his family his mother and other relatives about this.
I felt this is correct. His family will now handle him. I care for him as he is really Suffering from Medical issue as of now.

And frankly in my Friend group i hardly have 2 3 frnds only.

 

[tushu5121]

@tushu5121 (OP)
Tell him that shit happens in life. He has to self motivate himself as much as he can by diverting his attention in something else addictive in nature but not harmful...

His self realisation is necessary. Yours or anyone's advice will not work in such cases.

This time too pass. Human genes have its own set of survival instincts. He will able to find a way.

Don't humiliate him when he is going through mental weakness. Twist and turns in life has its own set of terms and conditions.

On a side note tell him to become a member of TF community. He will have something to start with to engage his mind.

Will recommend him once he fully Recovered.
As of now he is going through medical treatment.

 

[dvader]

See.. i helped him without any intention.

He is not out of this situation.
He used take loans and then that money he use for betting which is just senseless..

I feel he learned his lesson.
As 1st thing i did i told his family his mother and other relatives about this.
I felt this is correct. His family will now handle him. I care for him as he is really Suffering from Medical issue as of now.

And frankly in my Friend group i hardly have 2 3 frnds only.

Bhagwan apke jsa dost sbko de. JSR

 

[tushu5121]

Bhagwan apke jsa dost sbko de. JSR

NA bhai kafi time se mere dosto ne hmesha mera sath diya h.
Mai vhi unko vapas kr rha hu.
Being a disabled mere dosto ne meri shop Ko khda krne me bhi kafi help ki thi.
So aj meri bari thi

 

[kuchbhikuchbhi is verified member.]

NA bhai kafi time se mere dosto ne hmesha mera sath diya h.
Mai vhi unko vapas kr rha hu.
Being a disabled mere dosto ne meri shop Ko khda krne me bhi kafi help ki thi.
So aj meri bari thi

then thats a very good thing you're helping
and you actually remember that they helped and doing same
you deserve a praise

some people just forget what once we did for them and backstab

 

[tushu5121]

then thats a very good thing you're helping
and you actually remember that they helped and doing same
you deserve a praise

some people just forget what once we did for them and backstab

Yeah.. i hope people do the same..

And i really wish these betting ( So called game of Skills app ) get banned

 

[tushu5121]

I just want to know is there any way so he can Pause the loan or anything.
Or any RBI guidelines Which allows this in medical or financial Hardship due to job loss or anything.. is there any rule or guideline or anyrhing on personal loan so he get Temp. Relief

 

[Jkt]

There are so many horror stories like these, Dream11, PokerBazzi, F&O trading! Everyone wants to become rich fast and keep falling in the same trap!
Sadly many big celebs promote these portals, without understanding the ground realities, even they want to make MORE MONEY!

There are two approaches to solve the debt problem -
- Consolidate the debt, that would make him work towards one target in a month, instead of worrying about EMIs on a regular basis
- Create a list of debts he holds, try to either close the minimum amount loan first or the one having highest interest rate. The target is to reduce loans fast

He also needs to change his lifestyle, a frugal life till he is out of debt. He should consider selling 'assets' that are not needed immediately. The list could include the costly iPhone, the SUV he drives, the big screen in the house, many more. Always remember a debt free life is much better!

Respite from RBI, only option is to declare bankruptcy, he would be labeled as a defaulter, he wont be getting any new loans for a few years. Also be ready to face daily abuses by the loan recovery agents!

 

[tushu5121]

There are so many horror stories like these, Dream11, PokerBazzi, F&O trading! Everyone wants to become rich fast and keep falling in the same trap!
Sadly many big celebs promote these portals, without understanding the ground realities, even they want to make MORE MONEY!

There are two approaches to solve the debt problem -
- Consolidate the debt, that would make him work towards one target in a month, instead of worrying about EMIs on a regular basis
- Create a list of debts he holds, try to either close the minimum amount loan first or the one having highest interest rate. The target is to reduce loans fast

He also needs to change his lifestyle, a frugal life till he is out of debt. He should consider selling 'assets' that are not needed immediately. The list could include the costly iPhone, the SUV he drives, the big screen in the house, many more. Always remember a debt free life is much better!

Respite from RBI, only option is to declare bankruptcy, he would be labeled as a defaulter, he wont be getting any new loans for a few years. Also be ready to face daily abuses by the loan recovery agents!

he used to live in pune and Going bank by bus from his Room.

He has only one bike That too his father's one. He didn't sold it as he lost his father few years ago and kept this for use whenever he comes to home.
He regulerly sending money to every month.
Coming to asset he don't have ipohnes etc. He is using a phone From 3 yrars Of MI.

Thats the Shocker for me you don't have much assets No ldki ka chakkar.. fir bhi insb me agya.

But i will told him this idea if he follows this or not will see later..

 

[hender]

mere dosto ne meri shop Ko khda krne me bhi kafi help ki thi.
So aj meri bari thi

"Quote of the day"
Gratitude 🙏, Honesty 🙏