Love and hate are very strong words mate. I don't think people here, including me, love or hate hotel loyalty programs. Most of us prefer to enroll and stick with programs that benefit us. We're all in it for a better experience after all.
Speaking from personal experience, I do 4-5 international trips in a year, and have redeemed Bonvoy points at the likes of Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Singapore, Maldives, Kenya, Mauritius, Egypt, and only one of these stays have cost me over 200k points. The rest have been under 200k points. So I'd call this lack of research on your end.
And unfortunately, your referral tokens aren't worth anything to me, because I earn close to 600k Bonvoy points in a year just from my expenses. I genuinely feel sad for you that your thought process took you there, even after having so much travel experience. Traveling is the best education you could possibly have, but for some reason it isn't working for you.